KSFM in Sacramento once did something that I refer to as “undorsement”. As opposed to trying to lure the audience with photos of smiling, surgically perfect demo members who look like something out of The Stepford Wives, they took the opposite tack:
Here are some people who never in a million years would “get” the station. That’s why you should listen. I mean, you’re not one of them, are you?
Emmis actually did something similar with a campaign called “Who Doesn’t Listen To (Station)”. They did personalized TV spots with people like Slim Whitman, critic Rex Reed, Tiny Tim, and the Lennon Sisters talking about how much they disliked the station. The Rex Reed one was him, with his smarmy tone, saying “Listening to an hour of programming on WLOL is only slightly less excruciating than sitting through the collected works of Cheech and Chong.”
I don’t think any of your listeners “buy” the listener testimonials we put on TV. I saw one TV campaign of young, attractive, perfect-teeth, well-dressed Up With People wannabes dancing, laughing, walking, and all I could think was: what ad agency did they hire these people from? I’ve met this station’s listeners. These ain’t them.
So don’t lose sight of the fact that just as there are people who will definitely listen to your station, there are also people who, even under threat of death, will never plug you into their preselects. And that’s not bad. And having them deliver your music message will be the 1 in 2500 message that will sneak through the radar and actually implant itself on their cerebral cortex, ie: it will stand out.
Images
And now, on with the Dumpage:
Promotions Criteria
KZIA in Cedar Rapids just turned down a fast-food client that wanted them to give away chicken sandwiches on the air. If you DON’T have some Promotional Guidelines for the Sales staff to work with, you can only blame yourself when they want you to give away Lowry’s Seasoning Salt on the air. And, again, you should have a promotional value. We won’t give away anything that is less than (blank) in perceived value.
Some basic “don’ts”?
- We don’t do trivia based on clients’ products. Gatorade Trivia? Not going to happen. (That was pitched at me in 1991. “Caller ten, tell me, what RDA of Niacin would you get in a tasty 12-ounce bottle of Gatorade?”)
- We don’t give away prizes that people will have to spend money to use. The competition in Charlotte gave away tickets to see Madonna in Boston. No airfare or hotel. We rammed it up…you get the idea.
- We don’t give away prizes that are free to begin with. The Point in Minneapolis actually gave away passes to the Parade of Homes. I looked it up: it was free already.
- Do you have rules regarding remotes? How many? Clients doing the breaks? Two at once?
- Don’t give away a prize that will cost more to retrieve from the station than it would be to buy, ie, a freaking chicken sandwich.
- We don’t do (Client) Prize Packs. Take something and add it to the prize so that it’s a station prize.
- We don’t do Win It Before You Can Buy It or Family Four Packs. I have lists and lists of alternative monikers. This isn’t 1989.
- Interviews on any show other than the morning show? We don’t do them. I heard a comedian on an afternoon show last year that was painful. Plugging his appearance at a local club. Excruciating.
- We don’t give away coupons.
- We don’t do “Write Our New Jingle!” Call me, and I can walk you through the Hi Vee Debacle of 2002.
- We don’t do “Write And Tell Your Story About Using (Product).” Call, and I can walk you through the Swiffer Broom Debacle of 1999.
- In the States? X out the 4th of July. We don’t do remotes on the 4th. This is our day for politicking and promoting the station.
Having some ground rules now can really go a long way towards averting screaming matches later.
Care And Training For Your New AE
The coolest and also smartest thing I’ve ever seen? Wild 94.9 in San Francisco, where they’ve had new AE’s go out and be a part of the Street Team for their first week. Shorts. Shirt. Out in the community, meeting the listeners. Listening to the station. Learning the product. Who hasn’t worked at a station where it was totally obvious that the Sales staff had no clue about the programming and the audience? It can only help them be more effective if they have a better grasp on what they’re supposed to be selling.
Have Someone Else Pay Your Bills
I’m not ANTI-Pay Your Bills by any way, shape, or form. I used to think it was the most outstanding post-holiday contest ever. And there’s no doubt, as witnessed by the volume of entries this gets any time of the year, that there are LOTS of listeners with bills they want paid.
But we’re in Show Business. Taking an entry, calling them up and saying “We’re paying your bills, Debby!” doesn’t pass the Show Biz Litmus Test. But that’s just me. I’m attaching a promo from The Beat in Vancouver had done Beat Your Bills (the above promotion) two times, and wanted to tweak it and update it. So they hacked into the credit card company’s computer and erased people’s bills.
Identity theft is a big buzz term/issue now. As witnessed by the singing pirate TV spots. What if you’ve been assigned (through the company’s Community Outreach program) a young man who got busted for ID theft? Since the budget got axed because you used too much copy machine toner last year, our new hire will help pay off his debt to society by doing what he does best: cracking the mainframe at a credit card company and cutting/pasting your bill onto someone else’s.
Double Your Paycheck
One of the Country stations has a competitor that is doing “Double Your Paycheck” for the Spring Book. You can get into a cash pissing war that no one wins, or you can parody it. My suggestion? “Triple The Intern’s Paycheck”. The designated caller picks one of the interns and gets triple whatever he/she make as an hourly wage at their paying gig. Intern Amy works weekends at The Yarn Barn at the mall, making $11.90? You just won $35.70!!
The Best Community Service Campaign Of 2026
I remember when we had licenses and actually cared if our listeners died or were grievously injured. Las Vegas is very much a backyard pool town, and CBS once did a summer-long campaign about pool safety. Hot 97.5/103.9 in Phoenix has awarded a pool fence or pool net to families the past several summers.
Father Mows Best
This was a promotion at one of the Denver stations where they did lawn mower races. If your legal team would kibosh that, then another version was done by a station where dad got to mow the lawn seats at a local amphitheater and then got to stay and watch the show. B-105 in Cincinnati is doing its own version of it. Post a photo of your immaculately trimmed lawn and win a lawn mower.
Triple Play
Hubbard in Brainerd has some Twins tickets, and they’re doing them with Triple Play Tuesdays: three songs by an artist, in a row, is the cue.
Proms
One way to acknowledge proms is to get a client to give you some tanning for contesting. May is a HUGE month for tanning places and girls (and guys) try to get their glow on for prom.
#NoMoFOMO
Fear Of Missing Out. Will never happen again if you use that as your summer umbrella. Every event, party, concert, exorcism, it doesn’t matter. We, you, us, we’ll be there and have tickets to give away. More of less the Summer Of 10,000 Tickets.
Your Weekend In 5 Pictures
This is pretty outstanding. Kind of like 8-word movie reviews. Y94 in Fargo will have people recap their weekend in five photos.
Casino $$$
Empty nesting has been a real kick in the nads for me, so last Fall I picked up some PT weekend hours in Guest Relations at the local track/casino. Greet people, answer questions, run contests, set up events…all of which I have a minimum amount of experience.
It’s a ball. And a bit of a freak show. At least once a week, someone loses bodily control while at a card table. I wish I were kidding. But it’s been an amazing social experiment because the parallels between radio and that industry are staggering.
Every client has a different goal or motivation. The gaming industry? They want to sign people up for their players’ cards, which = database for marketing. And, obviously, getting butts in the door, which then translates to more card sign-ups.
The place I sit and people watch at accomplishes that by awarding free offers at events like shows and the Minnesota State Fair. I take the card they hand me after playing an on-site contest, bring it to the casino, SIGN UP FOR A CARD, and get my free meal, drink, or $10 bet.
And it works.
So, now we know what will motivate a casino client. Now we offer them the opportunity to join the station at (event) with something like a roulette wheel and give away their offers. We’re at a lot of places that these brands won’t be at, so we can be their enabler.
