Paige Nienaber’s Midweek Idea Dump: The Q1 Mega Dump

(By Paige Nienaber) I had an interesting call with a station where they were still “noodling” on what to do on New Year’s Eve. I guess that’s good that they want to do something but finding partners will be hard since most venues, events, and similar clients had their ish locked down in July.

So, Christmas and New Year’s are done. Over as far as we’re concerned for this exercise. Next is Q1, which is brimming (he said “brimming”) with stuff to sell.

Surprisingly, I’ve never done a compilation of stuff for that time period. I’m going to attach “Fitness Clubs” (because January seems to be high season for resolutions), “Expos” (because traditionally this is a good 90-day period to do one), and “Jewelers” because of Valentine’s Day. Oh, and “Cold Weather Promotions,” for obvious reasons.

Before I get to that Dumpage, I’m literally a man with a dry-erase board and can be available for cash or barter in the US and Canada. Email me at paige@cpr-promotions.com and I can explain how that would look.

And now… on to January and beyond.

1st Quarter Sales Ideas

The Hangover Mix: Very simple music feature for New Year’s Day. Mellow music played at reasonable volumes. And sponsored by one of the products that caused this to begin with ie: a beer or a club.

Office Hottie: It’s been huge with every station that’s done it. Can either be done entirely on the web or web-but-with-a-live-final-event. Any client that is interested in people at work? This is for them: a workplace beauty pageant.

Breeders Cup: The first time I did the “First Couple To Get Pregnant” contest was pre-internet and our Sales tie-ins were pretty much limited to clients providing prizes for the contestants. This could be way, way larger in 2025.

Team Of The Week: Most CHRs, Rhythms, and Urbans cease their acknowledgment of the teens when high school football is over. Brilliant. This is really just an excuse to market to this audience, who we desperately need to have around in a few years. Get different school teams in the studio every Thursday night. Girls Swimming. Boys Wrestling. Transgender Debate. Whatever. Pick the 15 most important schools near you and get one of their teams in. This is usually sponsored by a soft drink and someone like a pizzeria.

Whatever You Choose To Call Your School Spirit Contest: The Hots in Houston and Denver were good examples of stations that did web-based promotions that awarded shows or events. And both made MONEY off this. The best time to do a School Spirit promotion? September and January; when the kids are refreshed and energized.

Greed Diet: Again, playing off the whole “we got fat over the holidays” theme. This. Is. Work. But it’s large. KZIA in Cedar Rapids had the winning team splitting $30,000. All backed out of entry fees and the 28 clients they had on-board

Super Bowl

Please… think outside “Viewing Party At Club.” These inevitably suck. The vibe is “house parties.”

Football Films: There are some pretty good ones. Heaven Can Wait, The Longest Yard, The Replacements, The Water Boy. And about a dozen others. What if you got a cineplex to do a Super Film Fest on Saturday? Show nothing but these movies with all the money going to local youth sports programs.

Shoeper Bowl: Which of course would be a party for women with male strippers and lots of free shoes. The Beat in Vancouver did this last year, sans strippers. Three times a day a listener got “money for buying new shoes”, ie: a gift card to a shoe store.

Beauty/Booty Bowls: WEUP in Huntsville decided to pass on doing just a lame viewing party for the Superbowl. Instead, they did two parties that were far from lame. The Beauty Bowl was for the women. The station set up food, drinks, and screens in a salon and offered free hairstyling on Sunday afternoon and evening. (Maybe their biggest event of ’07.) And for the guys? The Booty Bowl. A Superbowl party at a strip club. Obviously, as a Mennonite, I’m offended.

Super Bachelorette Bowl: The Bachelorette Balls were a series of for-women-only parties that Wild 94.9 in the Bay Area did for years. They mixed it up, changing the name and themes regularly, but the idea was always the same: a giant invite-only party for women. With this permutation, you’d have male strippers dressed as football players and whenever an audience member blew a whistle or threw a flag, they’d lose an article of clothing. The key to the Wild parties is that there was always tons more happening than just male strippers. They have dancing, food, drinks, and stuff like psychics and fortune tellers. Really a fun time for the women who have absolutely no interest in watching 300 lb. men attack each other on artificial turf. KSFM in Sacramento did this and called it the Betty Bowl. The male strippers rode in on Harleys. But they also had massage tables, a fashion show, and make-up tips. The place was PACKED.

Pizza Man Confessions: Mike Campbell brought this up at the Newcap meetings as a possible New Year’s bit. The idea was to helmet cam a pizza delivery man and post all the videos from the parties he hit. Far less nudity and debauchery on Super Bowl Sunday, but it still might have some fun content…especially if you staged it.

The Biggest Big Screen: One of the more original (in 1974) ideas is to give a winner big-screen TV to watch the game on. A dozen years ago a station in Green Bay took over a movie theater and invited 300 listeners and guests to watch the game on the screen there. Now that’s big. KKDA in Dallas does this at a “cinema cafe” kind of establishment and it has people lined up around the block. A cute hook is that they show a football-related movie before the game and bring in an act for halftime.

An Even Bigger, Biggest Screen: Z-102.9 in Cedar Rapids did a promotion that allowed listeners to play Playstation II games on the screen at the local IMAX theater. What a great venue for watching bone-crunching action! A station has already jumped on this and found out that they can’t have food or drink in the theater. Which is fine: just leave it in the hall or lobby.

Super Bowl Widows: A variation on the Bachelorette Bowl. They did this in Phoenix when they sent two buses of women up to a casino to gamble and watch men take their clothes off. At another station, the midday jock took three limos of her female fans out for a day that started with brunch, was followed by a spa visit, then some shopping, and of course, the obligatory guys in g-strings.

A Sports Bar Blitz: I was playing Promotion Director in Tampa in 2000 and we had no “set” location that we were obligated to be at: great! The station’s three jeeps were sent on patrol with cell phones and prizes and starting mid-afternoon, we started crashing sports bars, Hooters, Chilis, TGI Friday’s, strip clubs… any place where there were big screen TVs, food, beer, and large numbers of people watching the game. It sounded like we were everywhere. Which is kind of the goal, right? I spent the night in a jeep with Jay from the street-team and we had a blast. The places we hit were thrilled to have us show up and were even happier to get the call-in. Note: we aired patrons for more of a vibe, not the management. This wasn’t about giving them free commercials. This was about capturing the essence of the biggest sports-viewing night of the year. The best call-in was from a strip club where the dancers were talking about how big of losers the four or five guys there were. Didn’t they know there was a game on??!!

Super Bowling: Hot in Milwaukee did this, and KUBE in Seattle reprised it in 2011. Giving the day more of a family-vibe, they took over a local entertainment complex that had indoor mini-golf, a casino, and bowling. While the kids were playing, the men could still enjoy the game on the TVs set up around the place.

Commercials: Many many many people watch the game for the TV commercials. Z-102.9 had a chatroom where people could rate the spots. The station also does “The Crammys”; a fictitious awards show done “live” from the Schlitz and Giggles lounge. Categories for best spots include “Best Use Of Pootie,” “Best Use Of An Animal,” and “Best Bathroom Break” commercial. They actually sent little statues to the winning spots’ ad agencies. You should have a blog running throughout the game, for people to rate and discuss the spots.

Listener Produced Halftime Spot: IF you actually COULD afford to buy a spot during the game, why not have the audience vie to create it? Or, at the very least, debut it on the website. You could even mock the fact that you couldn’t afford to buy time during the game, BUT, you did get a :30 in the middle of the Peru vs. Albania rugby match on ESPN Global. Laz at Power in Miami did a version of this.

The Gourmet Bowl: One of the stations has a morning guy who is an accomplished chef. So they gave away his services to a listener: he’d come and do all the food for their party. Having a DJ come to your bash is big enough as it is. To have him do the menu and all the cooking is a great hook. A grocery store, maybe a chef school…all could be on this.

My %$#@ing Head!: How about some homemade hangover remedies? Have your audience phone in some of their favorite and most effective cures for alcohol poisoning. I worked with a Traffic Director who swore by White Castle hamburgers. And don’t forget the obligatory Hangover Survival Kits for contesting over the weekend. Once again: logoed barf bags. Delivery service with interns dressed as EMTs or nurses would take this to the next level.

Valentines

Because “write in and tell us why your spouse deserves flowers” is so freaking huge, I’ve always been challenged to top that.

Kiss-A-Grams: This is one of those great, amazing dumping grounds for multiple clients. You solicit from listeners who they would like to have a Kiss-A-Gram delivered to on the 14th. Who, where they will be, and a message to read to them in front of all their co-workers. On the 14th you have a male model and a female model in a limo with a jock (you want to get photos, video, and live audio whenever possible) and you pop into workplaces, call out the love interest, embarrass them in front of all their co-workers, read the mushy love note, kiss them, and load them down with stuff. (Obviously, if you have a Kiss across the street, change the name.)

Booty Call Go Bags: Another place to mix and match multiple prizes from multiple clients. You get an overnight bag, clean underwear, toothpaste, and a toothbrush. Everything you need for when you get the call.

Valentine’s Wish: Another opportunity for several clients to get involved. Who hasn’t had a crappy V-Day? Dumped. Forgotten. Only kid in 3rd grade who didn’t get a card in the all-class exchange. (I’m still ticked. I’ll get them. Every last one of them. Kill ev…I digress) Like the Christmas version, people nominate a friend or family member who could use some cheering up.

Create A Card: An activity or event to hold at a client’s; set up a laptop with card-creating software and help listeners make a nice card for their loved one or parents.

For The Floral Clients

• “She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not” – Take an intern and cover him or her in yellow post-it notes. (I have a photo of the co-host at KRST/Albuquerque in a similar situation). Come by the store and pluck a petal. You win what’s underneath it. 
• “Petals ‘N Pedals” – Marry a bike client with a floral store. Register to win his ‘n her bikes. 
• “He Rose To The Occasion” – Women write in and say how their husband went over and above the call of duty at Christmas and why he should get some flowers.

For Your Website

• Like “Congraduations”, there’s no reason why you can’t have scrolling love messages on the website that weekend. Easily sponsorable. 
• Contest for the website? “Hallmark Card or Air Supply Song?” 
• “V-Mail” – Send anonymous love messages for listeners to people they’re too nervous or shy to approach themselves. Get their foot in the door for them. Like the one I had Mark at Hot in Houston send to Lucy at Power in Miami for me: “Lucy, I know your lawyer said I wasn’t supposed to call you any more or come by the station any more or drive by your house late at night anymore. But I know you’re just being silly and that our love is deep and can never be stopped by anything as silly as a restraining order or a personal bodyguard. Waiting for you. When you least expect it. P-Dawg”

Jewelers

You could…

• Do a seminar for men in the evening. Serve some beer. Have some wings. And have attractive women help these guys NOT screw up their purchase; which is a very guy thing to do. 
• “Diamond In The Puff” is an old bit. Hide a diamond in a marshmallow and mix it into several hundred non-jeweled marshmallows. Come down, pick one out, and tear it apart. You win if you find it. Done last year by ZHT in SLC.
• “Proposal Enablers” – We have, as Radio People, things at our disposal that the average schmo on the streets doesn’t. Solicit from the audience the most audacious and spectacular idea that a guy has to pop the question and help him pull it off. 
• “Desperate Ice Wives” – You get ten women on the ice at a skating rink. You put a target at the other end of the rink and they start taking slapshots. First woman to hit the target, gets some ice (diamond).

Clubs

Considering that it’s a given you’ll probably have a club, you need a hook:

• Exotic Erotic Ball. 
• FVD. For people who hate Valentine’s. 
• Pajama Jam. Like Dave Ryans’ party in Minny. 
• The Giant Hookup. Straight. To the point. You are going there to hookup. 
• (Markets) Next Dance Star. Have men come out for dancing lessons with professional instructors and surprise their loved one on Valentine’s night with their new skills.

Movie-Related Clients

• Do a “Lonely Hearts Club” promotion. DVD rental. A small single-serving frozen pizza. Maybe a deck of cards for playing Solitaire. 
• Have the listeners vote on line for the best romance films of all time. Random voters get gift cards. 
• You could also do a contest with audio on-line; ID the clip from the sappy film to win. 
• Have the morning show each pick their favorite love films via a bracket. “Meatballs” is mine.

Hotels

• Bring in second-party clients so that a room reservation also gets them flowers, candy, whipped cream, black plasti…you get the idea. 
• Do a “Suite Over”. Have your airstaff take a suite at the hotel and trick it out into the ultimate love den for that weekend.

Casinos

• You could do a “Lucky In Love” wedding at the casino. 
• You could do “Unlucky In Love” and on the 13th, have people bring down old love letters and gifts from psycho bastard exes for a bonfire/cleaning ceremony. Everyone gets a chip and a roll of quarters to test the magic and see if their luck has turned around. 
• “Love Is A Gamble” – Randomly match ten single men with ten single women. They each get a bucket of coins or something like that. At the end of the evening, the couple that has made the most (or lost the least) is deemed to be the perfect match and they get a weekend at the hotel comped. 
• I have a proposal that Q in Halifax did for a very, very successful slot tourney.

Bowling

• “Love Strikes Out” – A singles night. Randomly match people into pairs for a night of chatting and getting to know each other. Prize for the best score.

Golf Courses

• “Speed Putting” – 18 different chances to meet the right person. You switch partners each hole. 

Car Dealers

• “Live In Lovers” – The standard marathon thing with two couples living in a car. A car would obviously be a good prize, but it can also just be the venue. A ring. A honeymoon. All would be good carrots.

Restaurants

• Can you direct link so that people can make their dinner reservations through your site? 
• White Castles in the Twin Cities (pause to make a ‘nummy’ sound) do fancy, waitered, white table cloth with candles dinners on the 14th every year. And. It. Is. Huge. 

Home Improvement

• “I’ve Been Meaning To Get To That…” – Every guy has a household fix-it project they’ve been putting off. The handy young men who run classes and seminars at your local store will come by and fix it while the woman has her unsuspecting husband out for dinner and a movie.

Grocery Stores

• I’m a geek. Every Valentine’s I make my wife dinner. And she loves it. (The gesture, not the food.) It’s always pasta with a garlic cream sauce that my friend Teresa had to walk me through over the phone 17 years ago. So… what if you had Idiot Proof Recipes and where in the store the ingredients could be found on the website? 
• Or do as they do at Thanksgiving, and put together fully prepared meals along with wine, candles, and flowers that can be ordered through your website. 
• Certain foods are aphrodisiacs. Have a list on the website.

Fitness Clubs

• Do a matching service on the website or at a remote where people can team up with a workout partner. Someone who has a similar sked and looks hot in lycra. 
• “Love: Reloaded” – Find a married couple and with the help of a trainer, get them back into the shape they were in when they first met. Before-and-after shots on the website are assumed.

Clothing Stores

• Any time you can do a fashion makeover, it’s a great promotion. And Valentine’s seems like a good turning point for challenged people to re-think the way they dress.

Ski Areas

• A great singles night for people whose romance “went downhill” in ’24. Ski lodges are terrific venues for pretty much anything.

St. Patricks Day

Piece of cake: club gig with green beer and have the passes in the VIP Club.

Green History Month: Wired in Philly did Green History Month and ran vignettes that featured historical info on famous Greens of the past. Like Marvin The Martian and Mean Joe Green. One station sold this to an Irish whiskey in 2011.

Boat Cruise: XtremeRadio@104.3 in Hawaii did a night cruise on one of those tourist boats that go out of Waikiki and called it Party Till You Turn Green. The inclusion of the word “green” was about as deep into the St. Patty’s vibe as they got. All the listeners really cared about was the mixing, dancing, and (massive) drinking on board.

St. Hat Tricks Day: Charity hockey game: station vs. media celebs.

Leprechaun Races: Several stations have done very successful Leprechaun Races in the past. These were basically baby crawls with the kids wearing green diapers and a station logo on the butt. The tots raced for pots of gold (jewelry) for their moms. This is a nice family event. Be sure to get baby-sized shirts for all the contestants. WIOG did this: huge. Malls are obvious venues for this kind of thing.

Other Saints: 97.9 The Box/Houston did some research and came up with this amazing fact: St. Patrick had a brother, St. Bob who is the Patron Saint of Partying. They honored him on the 17th with a major St. Bob’s Day party at a club. Bob’s “color” is purple so that was the color scheme for the event. Anyone named Bob got in for free (they trusted you and didn’t check IDs at the door), and everyone got a name tag that said Bob. Of course, there was purple beer and bobbing for prizes. What about bob sledding?

For A Client That Wants “An Event”: Irish legend has it that kissing the Blarney Stone brings good luck. In a takeoff from the proverbial “Kiss The Car” contest, get a large rock, paint it green with your logo all over it, place it in a public location, and have ten contestants kiss it to win a pot of gold or a trip to Las Vegas, where their luck will come in handy.

Party Bus: Besides being a Hallmark holiday, St. Patrick’s Day is an excellent excuse to leave work early and drink large quantities of grain alcohol with friends. A St. Patty’s Party Posse is one way to get out and impact some of these revelers. The basic idea is to hit the streets around 11a and make van stops at as many bars and taverns as time will allow before last-call. You’ll sound like you’re right in the thick of the action with a phoner from each van stop. And you will be. This is a very simple and effective application of your daily street presence. This concept has been applied over and over for New Year’s, the Fourth of July, and every other Hallmark holiday… and it works every time. 93Q in Syracuse did this with a green bus in ’08.

St. Panties Day:  Get some logo’d green underwear and blow them out all day. KKMG in Colorado Springs did this and it was one of their biggest events of 2004. The underwear was worn as admission to the station’s club gig. This has transformed into one of the annual bits that the audience anticipates and plans for. NOU in Indy got in on this last year.

Club Activities: Just doing a club gig with green beer qualifies you for an exciting career in waste management. What if you did Irish Idol, got a karaoke machine, loaded up on music from U2, the Cranberries, U2, the Corrs, U2, and Dexy’s Midnight Runners? Having a cash cube with swirling clovers (grab the 4-leaf one and win). Leprechaun Tossing as done at Wild in Tampa. Lucky Lady Lunch Hour with male strippers at KGGI in Riverside.

Spring Break

Lessons We Learned From MTV: For the kids who COULDN’T get away, taking a club and doing a different Spring Break event all week will help fill their void. Just look up every stupid Spring Break game the cable channel ever did and you’re set.

Spring Fake: As done by several stations last year. Kid wins tanning and photoshopped pics of them in Mexico to show their friends.

Spring Broke: As done by Cumulus in OKC where they sold beer mugs that could be used and refilled for the low, low price of 97 cents all week at participating clubs.

On Location: Do a series of club events to screen and audition to find ONE Florida/Mexico/Vegas-bound listener to cover the action and report back daily. Their mission is to scout, track, and find other locals on Break, get pics, and get them on the air through nightly check-ins.

Cut, paste, copy, and otherwise distribute to the well-dressed people in the cubicles.

Paige Nienaber insults/consults more than 100 radio stations on Fun ‘N Games (Marketing & Promotions). Find him at CPR Promotions. Read Paige’s Radio Ink archives here.