
I’m excited to be on the Chachi Loves Everyone podcast coming up and I regaled him with a story about when – between a bad breakup with a coworker (as opposed to the fun kind) and some changing vibes in the building – I was trying to get out of WLOL in Minneapolis.
Except for what kind of lunchbox you carry, nothing says more about a person than their desk at work. So I staged mine with pizza, betting stubs from the track, phone messages from drug dealers and took an overhead photo of it.
That got turned into a mailer that espoused the values and attributes of the Promotion Director and the desk. This got blindly mailed out to a hundred radio stations.
These mailings got a flurry of rejection form letters… which I promptly rejected. Yes. I sent them a form letter with their name typed in slightly off-center.
“Dear Karen Seminole,
Thank you for your rejection letter of 1/24/2025. Unfortunately, at this time we’re not accepting rejections but will hold your letter on file for 30 days should the opportunity to reject me come up.
Best regards and good luck with your future rejections,
Paige Nienaber”
I got a ton of personal responses, which is what I wanted. The majority thought it was hilarious and were sincerely apologetic about the form letter. And a few didn’t “get it” which told me that it would have been a bad fit.
Thirty-six years later people will reach out and comment about me rejecting them. “It was great. I showed it to everyone.” Cool. That’s Marketing.
And now on with the dumpage.
This week I’ve decided to give you gas. Promotions. In any economy, free or discounted gas is going to be a home run and with Gallon-tines looming, that could be one way to have some fun.
Pump And Pause – As done by WiLD in Tampa. Basically it’s Beat The Bomb. Quit while you’re ahead or risk losing it all when the hose explodes.
Gastober – Done at the Bull in Seattle and they asked people to listen for Walker Hayes “Fancy Like” to play to call and win.
Tank Tag – Know the name of the previous winner and win gas.
Win $1000 – Right now, “$1,000 in gas” sounds > than “$1,000 in cash.”
Good To The Last Drop – Done with a pickup in Houston. Done with a jetski on Grand Cayman. Predict when it will clug to a stop, bone dry, and win gas for a year. Speaking of which…
Gas For A Year – “The Last Contest” was the biggest radio contest in US Radio history because it took $5,000 and they created hundreds of sounds-like-a-million-dollars packages out of it. As Newcap in Edmonton did when they figured out the $3,200 would buy someone gas for a year. They got a month, a HUGE MONTH out of it. One of the Alpha stations is about to do Beer For A Year.
Adding Some Characters To It – When Kiss in Boise did a gas station siege, they had a dancing costumed Gas Man playing to the cameras. One of the TV guys actually thanked Keke Luv for coming up with the great visual. KSON in San Diego has Sir Tanks A Lot out in traffic to promote their gas giveaways. In Greensboro, The Wolf created a Texas oil man (Randall Bliss) to voice their gas giveaway imaging; he was outraged, I said OUTRAGED son!, that they were giving away gas. “Britney needs some botox, damn it, and it just don’t grow on the trees you know.”
Pumparazzi, Red Solo Can – In the past, wise stations like Jammin’ in Portland and KZIA in Cedar Rapids have taken hits like “My Humps” and turned them into parody promos, like, My Pumps. You could have a generic 23 second promo that will sound indistinguishable from the promo for some app that corporate is making you run, or you could have Bruno or Brad market the contest for you. (And obviously “My Humps” is not an option.)
Gasp For Gas – Started by the very, very strange minds at The Giant in Thunder Bay. You pump gas for as long as a listener can hold their breath. Finally, something visual BESIDES the long lines, for the TV crews to cover.
For The Longshot – It’s become a cliché joke in Radio about how TV will go out of the way to NOT cover us. Or at least not give us credit. About half the time you do one of these big gas giveaways, you get TV chopper coverage. From 500 feet, all those rollerbanners you so meticulously spent seven hours hanging are not going to show up. I think Wired in Philly was the first station I ever talked into sticking a massive banner on the roof of the gas station. Try editing around that.
For The Closeshot – Anyone? What is the camera angle, the shot, they ALWAYS get? The hand sticking the nozzle into the tank. Consequently, whoever you have pumping needs to have little logo’d tats or stickers on their hands.
Artists’ Gas – We’ve done artists’ cars. Mix in KC did the toilet seat from Jesse McCartney’s dressing room. And Kris Abrams, when he was in Phoenix, did the gas from Brad Paisley’s tour bus. It was presented as the interns going out with a hose and gas cans while Brad was at the station for an interview, and draining the bus. They even got the artist to cut imaging that pondered the question “Why does my bus always run out of gas after I visit KMLE?” The prize room and conference room were presented as being filled to the ceiling with red containers of gas. Call and win a few. Please. Because everyone is getting sick from the fumes and the smokers on staff are jonesing. (They gave away… wait for it… gas cards. But in a creative way.)
Beat The Pump – What if you got your gas the old-fashioned way: you stole it. Like what 95.7 Jamz in Birmingham (US) did when they “hired an intern named Rodney” who was straight out of juvie. In a theater-of-the-mind methodology, they sent him out with a length of rubber hose to suck fuel out of people’s cars. He had a cell phone and called in as he lurked in the parking lot behind a movie theater (as an example) looking for a car that didn’t have a locking gas cap. The caller got as much gas as he could siphon out before he got busted. I wrote the imaging so that Rodney slowly went blind from the fumes.
Semantics – Talk in terms of gallons and not dollars. Sounds bigger. great prize
Stick & Pump – Probably not the name you want to use on your Smooth Jazz station. But you should use your event to get stickers on cars. Or, to reward people who have stickers on cars with free gas.
We’re Taking Over Another Station – Please don’t do this. This is like “We’re going to walk naked down the street”: so transparent that anyone can see through it.
Gasbates – I’ve lobbed this out before. The resorts in Wisconsin, which live off the Chicago tourist crowd, started filling up their guests tanks before they went home in ‘09. Took a little sting out of the long drive for a summer weekend away. You’re asking people to get in their car and drive to a remote and buy carpet? You might want to offer them something more then just pizza. One of the stations had a trip to a concert about 200 miles away and are throwing in “gas to get you there and back.” (Gas cards but without saying “gas cards.”)
Who You Should Target – I love Sales. They work their ass off. People say “no” to them all day. And they get no respect. But please don’t rely on them to get your gas station. One of the CPR stations waited over 120 days for the client to make a decision… and they eventually said no. And their competition blew them out of the water with a great gas giveaway while they were waiting. Ya know who is best? Mom and pop gas stations. Because they can do anything they want. No one to tell them what to do. So the question is: what do you have that they’d want? Front row tickets to Taylor Swift with a meet and greet, for their niece and all her friends? A traded trip to the Bahamas? Ask. Cash doesn’t have to be your only option.
We’re Offering The Cheapest Gas Prices – This has been done many times. Open up a bidding war. The station that sells gas for the least amount of money gets trips or concert tickets or free spots. Ten years ago, Dave Ryan did this at KDWB and got it down to negative ten cents a gallon. That’s right. For every gallon they pumped, they had to pay you a dime. SHUT DOWN South St. Paul. Traffic for miles in all directions. They gave the owner a traded trip.
Get Trucked – I’ve thrown this out before. Get a gas truck and drive it around. Set up in neighborhoods and pump gas. This can be done as witnessed by KGGI in Riverside where they prowled the streets with the morning guys sitting on the roof dressed as Arab sheiks.
Fear Factor Fill Up – A bit from The Morning After at KOB-FM where they had the listeners do something exciting like reach into a box of spiders to get the privilege of being pumped. Another terrific visual for TV.
F.U. Fridays – In case “Free Gas Fridays” has been done in your locale. And I’m pretty sure it has.