When I worked in San Francisco, I was the Promotion Department. Just me and the world’s ugliest station vehicle. In market #4. Oh, and no budget. Zip. Nada. And we beat KMEL, arguably the best-sounding station that I’ve ever heard, in eighteen months.
We did it with Buzz and Bits. No long extended promotions, just bit after bit after bit after bit. If there was something topical, we turned it into a bit. And the bits often led to buzz.
I became Hallmark Holiday Obsessive. ¿Cinco de mayo? It needed a bit. Spring Break? Bit. Proms? Bit. Easter? Bit.
Coming up are a couple of Hallmark Holidays that we’ve kind of let fall by the wayside: Administrative Professional/Secretaries Day and Earth Day. In 2026, they fall on the same day, April 22nd.
Secretaries’ Day (Or Administrative Something Or Other Day)
This provides us with possibly our best opportunity for some mid-week, for-the-Hell-of-it fun in the workplaces. With some businesses still remote working, there should be enough in here that you can find something you can pull off.
Administrative PAWfessionals Day The Eagle in Norfolk and Mix in Cincinnati have honored it by having people share photos of their four-legged co-workers.
Food Deliveries Obviously, the easiest of all of these.
Staff Deliveries Since Marconi was filing records for Imus, bringing food to an office has been a great promotion. How about bringing an office to food in a party bus.
Spa Deliveries As done by Alice in Denver, where they brought the spa to her: she had her hair, make, nails, and a massage, all while sipping herbal tea at her desk.
Job Switch Oprah used to switch gigs with a viewer every year. And it was Good. The oft-mentioned Rob & Joss at KyXy in San Diego went and did listeners’ jobs as a way to introduce themselves to the market. Go and fill in while your winning Admin Prof gets lunch and a spa.
Field Trips No one looks back at 4th grade and says, “I hated field trips!” Anytime you can get offices/workplaces “out” and doing stuff together, it’s a homerun. 94.9 in Cincinnati did that as Field Trips and sent entire workplaces to baseball games, theme parks, movies and riverboat riding.
Rage Against The Machine “Office Space” came to life in Ottawa when listeners with bats beat the living crap out of a computer printer.
The Human Post-It Note A great visual as Levi from the morning show at KRST in Albuquerque was covered in layers and layers and rows and rows of Post-It notes. He visited offices, and employees could peel off a slip, and they won whatever was written under it.
Bad Bosses/Day Off From Work Open up the phones and social media, and let employees call/write in why their boss is the ultimate ogre to work for. Award these poor, suffering individuals a day off from work and cover for them by picking up the tab for a temp. Winners could have a day on the town in a limo. Send them out to lunch and then for a makeover and hair session.
Why My Boss Is A Butthead Pretty much the same concept. B-95 in Fresno did this, and the morning show went around in a limo and picked up the winners for a mega-lunch at Tony Romas. Later in the afternoon, the station hosted an After Work Party for all the secretaries in town at the Black Angus.
Copying Machine Drop When my buddy Jennifer was in Tulsa, her station did this. And why not? Who hasn’t, at one time or another, wanted to kick the %$#@& out of their copying machine? They always break down at just the wrong time. Plus, some of these take a rocket scientist to operate. Secretaries called in their worst horror stories about their experiences with the company copier. The lady who sent in the most horrific sob story was hoisted 150 feet in the air with the morning show and the copying machine that caused her all the grief. She personally cut the cord that sent it plummeting to its death. In addition to some personal prizes, her company got a $10,000 new copying machine, which was from a client. Everybody who submitted testimonials got roses. Huge. Typewriter tosses were good, but who uses typewriters anymore? And don’t forget the “boom” factor.
Drive Your Boss Crazy They did this at Magic 96 in Birmingham. Secretaries sent in what they would do to drive their bosses crazy, and would be willing to do “live” in front of thousands of people at lunch time at the River Chase Galleria. Selected entrants got to act out their fantasies on stage with their bosses. The winner put her boss in baby diapers, poured molasses over him, and beat him with an open-ended feather pillow. The winner and her boss each got $500, a weekend hotel package at the luxurious Winfrey Hotel, and she got a day off with a temp provided by the station, and a gift pack of Paul Sebastian fragrances. The judges included a local standup comic, a TV weatherman, and a newspaper reporter.
For Secretaries Only KJMZ in Dallas was one of the stations that did For Sisters Only expos, and they added a For Secretaries Only party after work. In addition to prizes, free food, and discount drinks, the party featured a type-off. On the house mic, the jock dictated a memo, and the first secretary to type it with the fewest errors won a personal computer. You could also do this with your announcer dictating a letter to the listeners. The first person to bang it out and email it in would win. As done by Mix in Cincinnati as an after-work get-together.
Office Olympics Another name for what KJMZ did with their For Secretaries Only party. Since few people ever socialize with their co-workers after 5:30 pm, you’d be a hero for getting these people out together, bonding, having fun, and participating in silly games.
Seccies Workplace selfies on the 22nd.
Toss The Boss If you have access to a bungie tower, then you’re set for this exciting promotion. How you get the secretaries, and the bosses they’ll toss, doesn’t matter. This is highly photogenic and should get you some press. Mic the boss who takes the plunge. It should sound great. Get as many of his employees on the tower as possible and let them all lend a hand. Or aim high and see if you can get a boss who will let a secretary toss him out of a plane! The station I “did” in Salt Lake City got this done in 2003, and it was massive. The audio was Hall of Fame quality. Her (the employer) screaming obscenities as she plummeted earthward, but then yelling “That was great! I want to do it again!” as soon as she landed. Could also be done with a slingshot at a theme park.
Morning Show Topics There will be many potential morning show topics for that week. It’s always warm ‘n fuzzy to have the bosses call in and talk about how great their secretaries are. It also doubles as Seconal for knocking you out. At the other end of the spectrum are such topics as:
- Cheapest boss
- Best blackmail that you’ve got on your boss
- Dumbest memo
- Dumbest thing your boss ever asked you to do
- Assign characters from “The Office” to people in your workplace. I don’t think I’ve ever worked at a station that we didn’t WKRP-ize, ie: Bob is Andy, Don is Herb, Allison is Bailey…
- Workplace bootycall rooms. Was done by a couple of stations for Valentine’s.
Or do a secretary/boss version of the Newlywed Game and have them guess the other person’s answer to certain questions.
Secretarial Pool Party Get businesses to let their secretaries out a little early for a Secretarial Pool Party. Take over the poolside area at a local hotel and throw an Appreciation Party for these hardworking individuals. Do a swimwear fashion show. Hire a reggae band. Do a limbo contest. Invite the bosses to come down for the First Annual Bosses Bellyflop contest. If you’re still thinking about doing a Typewriter Toss, why not throw them in the pool? Very photogenic. Do it like an Olympic diving competition and have judges there to rate the tosses and their entries into the water. KSFM in Sacramento did this several years in a row. Everyone was plowed by noon.
Nuts At Noon That was the title of an event that Wild 94.9 did at Justin Herman Plaza over the lunch hour on Secretaries’ Day. Besides trotting out the Male Exposure Dance Troupe to entertain the crowd of female office workers who normally eat lunch on the grass or around the fountains, they also had roses for the women, and the prize wheel was spinning to raise funds for a women’s shelter. The name has since been co-opted and used frequently for the promotion below.
A Limo Full Of Strippers Nikki, the mid-day person at Jamz in Vegas, had the gutwrenching duty of riding around all day with a limo full of male strippers. She went to workplaces, got secretaries and receptionists, piled them in the limo, and rode around for a quick 10-15 minute show, returning them hot and sweaty to work. Julie Pilat at KUBE in Seattle had the arduous duty of doing this. She took a limo full of male strippers around to offices, they’d run in, strip for a few minutes, and move on. The women in the offices loved the break from work…and I think Julie had a pretty good time too. Angie at KDWB did this in 2005 and was equally pleased by the event.
S.O.B. Secretaries On Break. Once again, a hotel pool, race track, indoor adult entertainment center like a Dave and Busters; these would all be great places to have a bunch of your mid-day audience hanging and relaxing for a day.
Earth Day
Earth Day is an incredibly under-utilized promotional and sellable opportunity. And I don’t think I’ve seen a soft drink request in a decade that doesn’t involve terms nature, environmentally friendly events and terms like “natural” and “refresh”.
I’m big on the term “acknowledge”. You just need to “acknowledge” that it’s Earth Day. It could be a web topic about ways to increase your mileage on your car. It could be a graphic. It could be some TOF ID’s with chirping birds. It could be a weekend when you include free grass (seeds) with your prizes.
The Transit Company I can’t think of a market where they don’t come and ask for a promotion every April. It could be as simple as what 94.9 in Cincinnati did, which was to have the co-host do her show from a bus. It could be to wrap one of the buses and debut it with a big launch party. The station in Charlotte tied in a company that served organic coffee, and every morning that week were on a different “line” giving it away for free.
Imaging That was easy.
All Things Organic The youth group at my church sells organic coffee as a fundraiser. Could you get hemp book bags, fill them with coupons and samples from clients, and either do these online or out on the streets?
Bicycles Big day for people to (at least be encouraged to) ride their bikes to work. I saw a station in Minneapolis sponsor the “bike lot” at a big summer festival. Ride to Taste and leave your bike for free in a big enclosed area.
One Hug At A Time One of the oldest and quickly becoming cliché’d launch bits for a morning host is to go and sit in every seat in a stadium. I never quite understood that. But then, I like watching Boy Meets World on Telemundo. KS-95 started their morning show in Minny by having them go out and try to shake hands with every listener in town.
What if you morphed these and had the morning show go out on Earth Day to a park and hug every tree in it? Walk up, thank them for the clean air, give them a hug, and add “I love you, man!”
Shaken, Not Stirred From B-103.9 in Ft. Myers, where in ‘09 they did “Earth Week”. “When it’s time to save the planet, the 18th caller will shake our Earth Tree and win whatever falls out. Naples Zoo tickets, Katy Perry tix, Maroon 5 tix. Everyone who wins also gets a tree seedling to plant and help make the earth a little bit greener.”
The Station That Gives You Wood McDonald’s in the Twin Cities does an annual thing. On that Saturday, every store in the 11-county region has hundreds of little bagged saplings. Free. Just some in and get one. And I do. Why? It’s a FREE TREE. Why wouldn’t I? Got a nursery that wants to play? Here’s the hook. These are the people who do them. They’re the Bag & Tag Promotional Trees, and you can get customized artwork, ie: CLIENTS.
Free Grass!!! KSFM in Sacramento successfully landed on the radar of the local police when they gave out Ziploc baggies of grass (seed) with their weekend contest that also included Snoop tickets.
Leafies Selfies, but with a nature feel to them.
Really Not That Huge Of A Departure Chet and Spence at KLUC ran recycled bits for their morning show on Earth Day.
Actual Global Warming Intern. Magnifying glass. Classroom-style globe you might find at a thrift shop. Online pool on how long it will take him to set it on fire just using the sun’s power.
What Would Google Do? NOW in SFO one surrounded their logo with forest wildlife. Got a “0” in your dial position? Stick a spinning globe in there. Or turn the site green for the day. Or, just blow it off. Everyone else will. Which, from my school of thought, is reason TO do something.
Actual Gerbil Power This has been bandied about by a couple of stations, and no one has yet pulled it off. For Earth Day, you’re taking the station off the grid and having it powered by a gerbil. The website is just a live (not) shot of a gerbil running in one of those little things. Put a sticker behind him and PRESS RELEASE THE WORLD. (It’s just a continuous loop shot of him/her/it running. In a perfect world, they would pause, and the screen would dim just a little)
Or Actual Human Power In 2014, 104.1 in Hartford was actually powered by a DJ on a bike. Live For 175 is the biggest awareness campaign in Radio. It’s been done by Steve Kicklighter at Kiss in Boise, and until your morning guy stays awake and broadcasts for 175 hours or runs a marathon every day for a week to call attention to child abuse, you can’t possibly fathom how huge this is. And in 2013? They had it powered by humans.
Festivals There’s going to be stuff in every market. Be there. Duh. But have some common sense about your setup. Having a big gas-powered generator belching smoke will kind of make you look stupid.
For The Website Have some tips from home repair and auto maintenance people on basic “any idiot can do this” (that would be me) suggestions for cutting down on AC use and increasing gas mileage. Go. Sell. Now.
The Diminishing Ice Pack A few years ago on one of those temperate Houston days in July (read: 108), Hot froze some tickets in a frozen H (hotel banquet ice carver did it). Guess how long until they “melted out” and fell to the pavement, to win them. This has “Earth Day” written all over it. The prize could be whatever you have immediately available, and you needed a topical hook.
